If you have to know, it's like you shoot me and I keep shooting blanks in the dark. Your mouth is a gun, and your actions the bullets. Sometimes I remember when I was a drifter with a gun. // Bipolar II and 22, loving is harder when you're always closer to the edge.

archives Dec 1, 2011 Dec 5, 2011 Dec 7, 2011 Dec 9, 2011 Dec 12, 2011 Dec 13, 2011 Dec 21, 2011 Dec 23, 2011 Dec 25, 2011 Jan 1, 2012 Jan 15, 2012 the present.

run like the law's behind you

Right now he's at work after I just got to his apartment. I'm anxious and missing him, and also a little sad. No scratch that, terribly. But I can't bring myself to listen to anything but sad music and I don't feel like going out. Plus some strange nagging thought is trying to convince me that he hasn't been so loyal and basically I'm driving myself crazy.

I fucking hate being bipolar. I'd rather see him so that I'm assured, but hey--we can't have that. I wish he'd text or something. I'd go into that emotional crawlspace but right now I know if I do I won't be able to get out soon, so vulnerability it is.